That's Not Stuff, Meredith...

So it's Wednesday, and with my 99th Disgruntled Post, I am putting up a video of this commercial, which for some reason (can't explain why) is the funniest thing I've seen in a while. In it, a Kelsey Grammer look-alike explains to a Matthew McConaughey look-alike that, given time, his Oreo Pizza moustache will grow to be as full as his. Is this the best commercial I've ever seen? I think so...I know so.

Ode To Beard

Since around mid-February, the Disgruntled Investor has been sporting a full beard. Not like a Grizzly Adams beard, and nothing anywhere near as cool as the guy above, but a beard nonetheless.

I have mixed feelings on the beard, but no matter how hard I try, I can't bring myself to shave it off. It looks pretty good, and makes me look my age, rather than like a 12 year old boy, which is how I look without it. I actually grew the beard originally for that very reason; when I showed rooms to potential renters they always looked at me strangely, and usually asked: "So...you're the owner of the house??" I sensed a lack of respect and confidence in my landlording abilities, so I grew the beard. Immediately, I was able to rent out all of my rooms, and the rents started coming in on time, if not early. With the beard came the respect.

Another positive aspect of the beard is that the Disgruntled Girlfriend loves it. Can't get enough of it. I would think that kissing someone with a beard would be weird, like making out with a Sasquatch, but apparently the ladies like it. She's been a very vocal defender of the beard, which may have played a part in my continued beard-having. Most likely, she now doesn't feel like she's breaking any statutory laws by kissing me.

I keep mine pretty closely cropped, which requires a 10-15 minute "grooming session" every few days. It's not as thin and cropped as A.J. Soprano's "chin-strap" beard (which I'm not a big fan of), but there's no danger of birds nesting in it either. On those days that I'm not grooming, I just do a quick swipe of the electric razor around my cheek (to avoid the cheek-beard) and lower neck (to avoid the neck-beard), and overall that probably saves me about 5 minutes or so in the morning.

So, I'll probably keep it for a while longer, but probably not indefinitely. I spent a few months in Shanghai in the summer of 2002, and while there I grew my beard out as part of a pact with a buddy of mine (he didn't keep his side of the bargain - he claimed he was unable to grow his...). Anyway, one thing about Shanghai in the summer is it is one of the hottest and most humid places on Earth. We would play pick-up basketball games with some of the Chinese guys around the university we were staying at, and afterwards, I would furiously scratch my beard like a crack addict due to the sweat irritating my under-beard skin. Needless to say, I didn't keep that beard for too long, and I worry that Washington, DC's summer, which is not too different from Shanghai's, might cause me to do the same.

But for now, all hail the beard!

By the way, the picture above is from the World Beard and Moustache Championships. The link is for the United States WBMC team. Definitely check it out if you've got nothing to do - the gallery is one of the greatest things I've ever seen.

-Disgruntled A