It's a dark day for the Disgruntled Investor, as The Shadow Disgruntled Girlfriend, Jessica Alba, has apparently been impregnated by someone named "Cash". And no, that's not his last name. I can't help but think that if I only had a little more cash of my own, this would not have happened. This is even worse news than when Katie Holmes was implanted by her Scientology handlers with an alien baby. (Note to DG: No, Tom Cruise did not stick his wee-wee in her hoo-hah. Argument over.)
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