The Blogadier General's Lake House

Well, as most of my readers know (since many of them were there), I spent this past weekend at the Blogadier General's lakehouse down in Radford, Virginia with the Disgruntled Girlfriend and the Disgruntled Dog. The house sits on Claytor Lake, which is a really big lake. Apparently, a few days before, someone drowned in this lake. Disturbingly, at the time we were swimming in the lake, the body had not been found.

Anyway, it was a really fun time, and thanks again to the Blog. Gen. for the invite!

So, ever since I started this blog, there has been someone clamoring to guest-blog it for a column. She has been hounding me to do this, and, since she was down at the lake with me this weekend, we decided she could write her own ridiculous review of the lake house weekend. So, without further ado...

My Trip To The Lake

By: The Disgruntled Dog


Yes, thank you Disgruntled Investor, for the introduction. This was, indeed, my first foray into the wonders of an actual vacation. You see, I spend most of my time with the Disgruntled Investor and Disgruntled Girlfriend (henceforth, the "boy" and "girl") lounging around on the sofa at home, or, if the occasion arises, catching and neutralizing the threat caused by dust. I find dust to be positively scrumptious!

So, it was a welcome surprise when the boy and girl decided to invite me along on this trip. As they found out, I do not get carsick, nor do I...nor...do...

RUFFRUFFRUFFRUFFRUFFRUFFRUFFRUFFRUFFRUFFBARKBARKBARKBARKBARK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahem, excuse me for that, the little ginger kid in the neighborhood was nearing my 200 feet no-enter zone, which is far too close. I must protect this house.

Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, I was able to ride down to this lake house (my first lake sighting as well!) on the boy's lap. He seemed to be in no discomfort from my doing this, so I took advantage of the opportunity to shift my weight around as much as possible. Again, he didn't seem to mind. (Ed. note: My legs still hurt!)

The lake house was a welcome surprise for me - there were a large number of bugs and dust to eat, and some of the best scotch I've ever had. I love scotch. Scotch, scotch, scotch (as you see, I am quite the Will Ferrell fan).

Michelob Light, I also found out, is a vastly underrated beer.

Two disappointments with the weekend:

1.) It was quite hot, and despite my repeated requests, no one threw me into the lake. I was quite hoping for that.

2.) At one point, the boys and girls went out on a floating device onto the lake, and went away. I did not like this.

But, no matter, I cleverly hid some poops throughout the house.

The people at the lake house were all friendly and entertaining, though perhaps none so much as the one they called, "Ete." (I'm fairly certain that is a pseudonym.) First of all, given the caliber of his girlfriend (she did not seem Disgruntled at all...), I can only assume that he has had a long and illustrious history of fulfilling and lasting relationships with quality girls, and this one was merely following that long line. Of this, I'm absolutely positive. Anyway, the last night there, he provided all with a rousing dance number I like to call, "He's Drunk As Shit." It was quite superb, let me say!

I decided whilst there to stay awake for as long as possible, to avoid the unfortunate occurence of missing anything happening around me. Additionally, danger was all around us, and in some cases, in the houses with us. I'm sure I heard some furious wrestling going on in a room or two. I, therefore, kept a constant vigil.

In conclusion, I would like to say that I hope, in the future, I can accompany the boy and girl on future trips to this lake house, and to other locations throughout the globe as well. They will be going to Portland, Oregon in the near future, from what I can gather, and I assume they will be taking me along. (Ed. note: Umm...) Finally, I'd like to thank the generous soul who dropped the Buffalo Wing pretzel for me to eat. Those were fucking fantastic!

I thank you, boy, for the opportunity to share my thoughts. Now, back to the window seat, for I think I see another dog across the street, and if he crosses it, I'm going to lose my fucking mind.