Don't Stop Believing

At approximately 10:02 PM last night, I stood up and cursed my TV, convinced that my stupid Comcast cable had cut out right as Tony Soprano was about to be whacked or the diner he and his family were in was about to be blown up. My little brother, who was over watching the Sopranos finale along with one of my tenants, had gotten up in the middle of the show to use the bathroom, and I had reluctantly relented in pausing the show while he did his business. As the DVR struggled with the rewind, I thanked him for possibly contributing to the cable's malfunction.

However, after rewinding and rewatching three times, it suddenly hit us - the abrupt and awkward cut to black was the actual ending of The Sopranos long-running series. It was very Andy Kauffman-esque; no doubt every other viewer had the same reaction as I did and thought their cable was broken at the worst possible moment.

My two fellow Sopranos watchers cursed at the TV, for a different reason this time, and left, utterly disappointed with the series ending.

I, however, thought it was great. Well, maybe not great, but not bad.

There was absolutely no way that David Chase could have ended this series without making some segment of his fans disgruntled. Tony's death would have felt forced and non-cathartic. Tony flipping and being Witness-Protected out to Arizona would have been a blatant Goodfellas ripoff. Tony losing those closest to him (Carmela, AJ, Meadow) would have left everyone with a bad feeling, and probably would have preceded one of the aforementioned subpar endings. A terrorist attack (which was my prediction for the finale, given the incessant hints dropped this season) would have been, frankly, stupid. And finally, Paulie selling Tony out would have been unrealistic, since Tony Sirico's contract specifically forbids that outcome.

So, in the end, although he did throw his viewers a major bone (Phil Leotardo's excellently gruesome death), he ended it the only way he could - by saying to all of us: "Use your imagination." It was his way of letting everyone have the ending that we feel is most appropriate for the characters we've followed for eight years.

Among the possibilities:
1.) One of the shady characters in the diner (by the way, most tense five minutes of television I've ever watched) offs Tony, his family, or everyone in the diner;
2.) Carlo rats Tony out, and he is indicted on his gun charge;
3.) Carmela gets breast cancer (I'm telling you - this was heavily alluded to early this season...);
4.) Meadow learns how to park a goddamn car (probably the most remote possibility);
5.) Tony flips and moves to Arizona;
6.) Nothing. Nothing happens at all. Things just continue on as they were, with all of the normal daily challenges and surprises.

Think of it as a Choose Your Own Adventure ending. It was the only way Chase could have ended the series without it being corny, stupid, or unrealistic. Ultimately, it was the best way to go out.

It was the only way to end a great season, and a great series. Arguably the best television show ever produced.

Now go get me some gobbagool...

-Here's the funniest thing Mad TV has ever put out: